Although in slightly different contexts I can relate to pretty much everything in this post - unsurprisingly I have an ADHD brain too! I'm also working on building a freelance design/portfolio career and finding it all kinds of challenging (but helped by chronic illness taking away my option to hold down a "normal" job anymore, so at least that keeps me focused on figuring it out because making it work somewhat sustainably financially would come in very handy!!!)
And yes to the anniversary effect - it sucks! We suddenly & unexpectedly lost my 22 year old niece, Bethany, four years ago, which was followed by an incredibly shitty experience with the coroners & inquest lasting nine months that I led on for our family (and that unhelpfully coincided with the fallout of workplace trauma & the start of my chronic illness too!) and basically every year it all feels a bit shit from the 7th March (my niece's birthday) through Easter (she died on Easter Sunday) and to the anniversary of her funeral on 15th May. It gets a little less intense each year, but it pretty much overshadows everything from December (knowing new year is approaching fast & we're heading towards March) until mid-May. Last year I did feel like I'd made a bit more peace with it being what it is, and finding better ways of managing it all, and so I'm hoping this coming years anniversary effects are a little less shit than the last!
Although in slightly different contexts I can relate to pretty much everything in this post - unsurprisingly I have an ADHD brain too! I'm also working on building a freelance design/portfolio career and finding it all kinds of challenging (but helped by chronic illness taking away my option to hold down a "normal" job anymore, so at least that keeps me focused on figuring it out because making it work somewhat sustainably financially would come in very handy!!!)
And yes to the anniversary effect - it sucks! We suddenly & unexpectedly lost my 22 year old niece, Bethany, four years ago, which was followed by an incredibly shitty experience with the coroners & inquest lasting nine months that I led on for our family (and that unhelpfully coincided with the fallout of workplace trauma & the start of my chronic illness too!) and basically every year it all feels a bit shit from the 7th March (my niece's birthday) through Easter (she died on Easter Sunday) and to the anniversary of her funeral on 15th May. It gets a little less intense each year, but it pretty much overshadows everything from December (knowing new year is approaching fast & we're heading towards March) until mid-May. Last year I did feel like I'd made a bit more peace with it being what it is, and finding better ways of managing it all, and so I'm hoping this coming years anniversary effects are a little less shit than the last!